Last night, I stood outside in my pajamas, pleading into a carport. How did I get to this point?

We didn’t plan to get another cat anytime soon, but life had other ideas. Last year, a cat named Jake took up residence in my parents’ carport. They left food and water out for him, but other than that, he spent his days hanging around or roaming their three-acre property and sometimes ours next door. He was friendly, and whenever we went over there, he’d greet us and want to be petted. Then winter came.

This is Central Texas, so our version of winter is very different from what people up north experience. We usually get a few icy, below-freezing days around January or February, and then we’re good to go. Occasionally, we’ll get snow, but it’s such a rare event that we treat it like a holiday.

One night last winter, the forecast called for a hard freeze. We knew we had to do something about Jake, so I offered to help. Anthony was already in bed (he has to be up for work at 4 a.m.), so I took a pet carrier, went over to the carport, loaded Jake up, and walked home. He cried the whole way, and since he’s a big cat, he was heavy too. I got him home safely, but it was a rough night. He didn’t understand what was going on and cried for hours.

Fast forward eight months.

Jake is now very comfortable in our home, but still loves being outside. He comes and goes as he pleases, meowing to be let in and meowing to be let out, sometimes five minutes later. I am now Jake’s personal door attendant, but I keep doing it because he’s so cute, and I love him.

Even though he has a good thing going here, he still loves that carport. He’ll crawl into the far back corner, where no one can see him, and sleep for hours. Sometimes he’s gone so long I start to get worried, so I’ll go over there and call his name, only to be met by silence. That’s how I found myself last night, standing outside in my pajamas, begging my cat to come home.

“I have food and water for you.”
“There’s air conditioning and soft places to sleep.”
“Please come home.”

I know he doesn’t actually understand any of that, but I still can’t figure out why he prefers an old cardboard box in a dusty carport over a comfortable home. I guess that’s just me thinking like a human, not a cat. So, we have this constant dance of me wanting what’s best for him and him just wanting to be… a cat.

I Might Be Overprotective

When our house was being built, there was a huge hole left overnight for the septic installation. I worried that Jake might wander over and fall in. I know cats have good eyesight, but it’s really dark in that spot at night. So, I decided to keep him in the house all night. That worked until about 5 a.m., when he loudly announced that he wanted out now.

So, I got up and let him out, then followed him in the dark with my phone flashlight. He went straight to the hole. I followed, heart pounding. He sniffed around the edge while I pictured myself calling 911 to rescue a cat out of a giant pit. But he didn’t fall in. He turned around and wandered off to inspect something else, and there I was, still following him in my pajamas before coffee. Is this what my life has become?

Here are five things I’ve learned from having Jake in my life:

1. I am not in charge
I can think I am, but I’m really not. I can buy the food, pay the vet bills, and open the door fifty times a day, but Jake still does what Jake wants. He’s independent and stubborn, and I’ve learned that sometimes love looks like giving someone space (even when that someone has toe beans and whiskers).

2. You can’t reason with a cat
I’ve tried. I’ve explained the benefits of air conditioning, the softness of his bed, and the dangers of the carport. He just hears, “blah, blah, blah.” Even when he’s lying around the house, you can’t get him to do anything. If you call him, he might give you a sleepy, half-drunk-looking stare, or no reaction at all. Then, when you least expect it, he’ll be right beside you, purring, wanting to be petted, and melting your heart all over again.

3. Love makes you do silly things
Like standing in the dark with a flashlight, following a cat around before sunrise. Jake has reminded me that love isn’t always convenient, tidy, or logical, but it’s always worth it.

4. God moves in ways we don’t always understand
Sometimes I think I know what’s best for Jake, just like I often think I know what’s best for myself. But Jake resists my plans the same way I sometimes resist God’s. I forget that He sees the whole picture when I only see a tiny piece of it. God knows what He’s doing, even when I don’t.

5. Don’t Live In The Carport of Life
Jake has a good home, but sometimes he wanders off and settles for less: a cardboard box on a dusty shelf in the corner of an old carport. God offers us new life, peace, and shelter, but sometimes we still wander off to the carport instead of trusting in His care. Don’t live in the carport anymore, come home.